||[Apr. 25th, 2005|02:37 pm]
i went for a walk yesterday. to nowhere in particular..just a walk. it started raining and i saw some jewish gurls begin to run home, but i just kept walking, and while i was walking i thought about grant, and how 2 years ago he walked over 2 miles in the pouring rain for a hug and a kiss and for me to tell him that i cared about him. and then i started thinking about amanda..and then becca..and yaina..and bernice... and my mind started flip flopping and all these 'what ifs' and 'what nows' crawled into my head and then i passed this gorgeous dogwood tree that had already bloomed and was beginning to lose its flowers, and all my 'what ifs' turned into 'what nows' and all my 'what nows' turned into 'what ifs.' and then it stopped raining..so i just turned around and walked home.